Insanity in the Azure
by Heliotrope
Summary: Hello and welcome to the magical world of Soukyuu no Fafner. Here we'll find lots of nice songs, shiny robots and angsty pretty boys. So let's sit back and enjoy the show. Think of this as the comedy version of Fafner. It will contain KazuSou.
1. Chapter 1

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Fafner in the Azure, Xebec does. Though I did once have a dream that Kazuki and Soushi were living in my loft... it was awesome!

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INSANITY IN THE AZURE

EPISODE ONE: BEGINNING – PARADISE 

Hello and welcome to the magical world of Soukyuu no Fafner. Here we'll find lots of nice songs, shiny robots and angsty pretty boys. So let's sit back and enjoy the show.

Oh look; we're travelling through the clouds... or fog, or whatever that's supposed to be... Anyway--

"Anata wa soko ni imasu ka?"

Holy crap! What was that?! I'm hearing voices now! Quick - run for the hills!

"... Er, no. You're not hearing things. We're the Festum. You know, the resident bad guys of the series."

... Resident Evil?

"Resident BAD GUYS! The villains. Do we have to spell it out for you?"

Oh, right. I get it now. Well, back to the story.

Suddenly something bursts out of the water; it was a magical, shiny blue robot, dripping with water and looking wonderfully pretty in an over-dramatic way. And who is this inside said robot... it's the main character! Yay!

"I can't move my body the way I want it to," Kazuki stammered out in a strangely constipated sounding voice. Somebody get that boy some laxatives.

And then the villains, who were also pretty and shiny, sent forth their tentacle-like appendages and started molesting Kazuki.

-- No, wait. They started molesting Kazuki's Fafner.

"Get it right, you idiot!" Soushi cut in. "This scene is long and random enough as it is."

Oh, sorry Soushi. The Festum grabbed Kazuki' Fafner with their tentacles and lifted it into the air - just for the hell of it.

"Kazuki! Feel Fafner itself!" Soushi shouted at the whimpering brunette. "Unite with it!"

... Hey, that sounds kind of kinky, Soushi. I'm getting the yaoi vibes already, and we're not even a minute in! I love this show!

You know, Soushi sounded hilariously gay in the dubbed version of this scene. It was awesome.

"Well I can't help it if my dub actor can't decide which voice to stick with!" Soushi snapped indignantly.

"Hey, Soushi," Kazuki said. "Stop breaking the fourth wall by arguing with the author and start feeling all of my Fafner... or something equally as suggestive sounding."

"Oh, just punch that Festum in the face."

"OK!"

Kazuki lunged forward, fist extended, roaring in anger and--

-- Huh? It's changed to some weird blue line-art scene of a tree! How the frick did that happen? And here's all the main characters in chibi line-art form. Is this meant to be significant? Really, I never understood the point of the glowing blue line-art moments.

"Hey, look; I fixed the line-art radio," said Mamoru. "How uber am I?"

"Yes, yes, very good," sighed Soushi, shoving him to the side. "Now let's all yell into this thing and summon the gang of golden aliens who are waiting to enslave mankind."

"... What?" the others chorused.

"Er, nothing. Just ignore me."

* * *

Meanwhile, an unspecified amount of years later, Soushi is travelling home to Tatsumiya Island on a boat, and managing to look pretty while he's at it.

"Ah, my beloved home land," said pretty Soushi. "I'd better look annoyed and glare at it for no apparent reason."

And thus he did.

"See - I can glare just as well as Kazuki."

* * *

And now it's time for a billion different shots of the island looking pretty to emphasise the whole 'paradise' theme they've got going.

... Geez, this is boring. When are we going to get to the obviously yaoi moments? That's all most of us are watching for.

Yay! It's Kazuki! Let's all swoon over him for a few seconds.

...

OK, I'm done.

Now it's time for a billion different shots of people heading off to school and boring stuff like that.

And then Maya leapt in through Shouko's bedroom door. "Hi, Shouko! Are you going to school today?"

Shouko sat on her bed, sadly stroking her pussy... cat. "No, I don't think so."

"Oh. Well this was a pointless scene, wasn't it?" Maya sighed, collapsing down beside Shouko. "... Wanna see all the naked pictures that I've secretly been taking of Kazuki-kun?"

Shouko's eyes lit up.

* * *

"Kaname Sakura, that's me by the way, is going to school!" Sakura announced, randomly saluting her father.

Her father glanced at her in bemusement. "Why are you talking in the third person?"

* * *

"Hello! I'm Kasugai Kouyou, and I'm obviously in love with Shouko. And I hate Kazuki's guts because Shouko is obviously in love with him. And—"

Kouyou, be quiet and just keep walking to school.

"Oh, alright author!"

* * *

"Here, Soushi, take this book. It's uber important."

Soushi gave the book a definite 'yeah, right' look, before glaring at the island once more and stalking off to feel up a tree.

For twenty seconds. Yes, I counted. He obviously likes the feel of wood beneath his hands.

After snuggling with his beloved tree, Soushi went off to chat to his vaguely Doctor Robotnic-like father.

"I hate that hedgehog!"

"What did you say, father?"

"Er, I mean, you're late. I hate it when people are late too," said Doc- er, daddy Minashiro.

"I don't care. Now let's all stand around looking serious." And thus Soushi gave his dad the stare down.

"Well that's enough of that." Daddy Minashiro turned and gazed out of the window. "Today's sunset seems to be a special colour."

Soushi was rather disturbed by this. '_Sunset? What the hell is he gibbering about? It's 9am in the morning! I'm glad he dies in the next episode._'

* * *

Soushi soon grew tired of talking to his senile father, and went off to school. He then proceeded to collide into Kuramae and make a complete arse of himself.

"Sorry, I couldn't see very well—"

"OH, THE GUILT!" came Kazuki's voice off-screen.

"… Er, anyway. It's odd that my bad eye never seems to bother me again for the rest of the series, only during this scene."

… Plot hole?

"Probably."

"Hey, Minashiro-kun! Tell me about Tokyo!" shouted Maya.

"It was boring," Soushi answered. "… Kuramae, stop wriggling your glasses at me."

"You mean you didn't meet any celebs. How annoying… Hey, have you noticed that this is the only time in the whole series where the two of us talk about something other than Kazuki-kun?"

"Yeah, I had noticed," agreed Soushi. "And I'm actually smiling at you – I must be ill or something. So… where's Kazuki?"

"He's out with Kondo-kun."

"Gasp! He's cheating on me?!"

"No, he went outside to have a random fight with him."

* * *

Cue the fight scene!

"I kill you!" Kenji snarled at Kazuki, lunging forward.

* * *

Scene change! Huh? Oh look; Dr. Robotonic's getting felt up by the evil teacher lady.

"Soushi returned, didn't he?" said evil teacher lady. "That means I can hit on him too! Yay!"

Daddy Minashiro rolled his eyes. "You're such a pedo."

* * *

Back to the random battle.

"Why the hell can't I hit you?!" demanded Kenji.

"Because I'm the main character; I has skills." Suddenly Kazuki felt a rush of plot development racing through his veins. "Gasp! … My Soushi-sense is tingling! Gotta race, ace."

And with that Kazuki galloped off, leaving a befuddled Kenji standing there like an idiot.

"Hey! Stop trying to rhyme; this isn't an 'Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog' episode!" Kenji shouted after him.

* * *

Obviously Kazuki wasn't the only one who sensed the plot developing, because the birds flew away in terror. And Shouko's cat randomly hissed in terror. And Fumihiko ran out of his house in terr- Wait. Does this mean that Kazuki and Fumihiko think on the same wavelength as the animals?

"What? Are the writers comparing me, the brilliant Fumihiko, to a mere animal?" Fumihiko asked in disbelief.

You ARE an animal, you stupid ape! Now get your arse down to Alvis like a good little main character, before the Festum leap upon you like a pack of starving wolves and tear out your gall bladder!

"… OK."

* * *

"Hey everyone, it's me, the evil teacher lady."

What was her name again…? … Kariya, I think. Yeah, that's it! Kariya!

"Right… Anyway, as I was saying; it's me, Kariya. Now everybody get in the shelter and sit quietly before I start hitting on all you hot young pretty boys."

"But I'm a girl!" piped up Sakura.

"I'm going to ignore that incredibly pointless remark."

"Kariya-sensei, will you give me an A if I make out with you?" asked Kouyou.

"Yes. Now shut up; aliens are invading."

"Huh?"

* * *

Meanwhile in CDC (which looks really blue and pretty in this scene) everyone is saying lots of weird technical things and random German words that are probably confusing the hell out of the audience at this point.

"Is it a sphinx type Festum?" Fumihiko asked.

"I dunno," replied Soushi, randomly poking at buttons on his control desk. "But more importantly; is that funny mark on your chin a beard or just some sort of weird scar? Because if it's a beard, does that mean Kazuki might grow one too? If so, that's a bad thing, because I can't stand facial hair. Kazuki will just have to get used to shaving."

Fumihiko just stared back at him blankly. "… How long until I'm in charge again? I'm dieing to get out of this tank-top."

"Fumihiko-san, I have no desire to see you shirtless, if that's what you're implying—"

"Shut up, Soushi-kun."

"Makabe, stop hitting on my son! We've got an invasion here," said daddy Minashiro. "Now turn on the shields that always do bugger all to stop the enemy!"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

As almost-certain death approached their happy, sparkly little island, Maya was riding around on her bike (she likes to ride her bicycle, she likes to ride her bike!)

-- Oblivious to the nearby danger. And then she stumbled upon a distressed looking Shouko. These two are idiots; why aren't they fleeing for their lives?

"What the fricks going on around here, Maya?" the only vaguely attractive female character in the show (until Tsubaki) cried out as her friend drew near. "My mum has vanished, my cat has vanished and there are aliens invading!"

"There, there, everything's going to be just fine," Maya assured her, giving her a big hug. She then grabbed hold of Shouko's hands. "Here; put your hands on my breasts."

"Er, alright," agreed Shouko, confused by the random yuri moment.

* * *

Back in CDC…

"A villain is approaching," said Yumiko. "View screen turn on."

The view screen turns on, revealing a big, golden Festum.

"Good evening, gentlemen. All your base are belong to—"

"Oh, come on!" groaned Soushi, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Like that joke hasn't already been used about a billion times!"

What you say?! Oh, I mean; you're right. On with the show!

The nasty Festum floated forward and swatted the island's fighter planes out of the way like the flies that they are. And then it beat the hell out of the island's useless shield with the planes – that was a bloody cool move, by the way.

"Well, shit. We're getting owned," said daddy Minashiro. "Is awakening the giants the only choice we have left for survival?"

Once again Soushi shot his father a weird look. '_Awakening the giants? Why doesn't he just call them Fafner? I'm glad his death is edging ever closer…_'

"OK, let's set our giant robot on it. Where's our pilot?"

"In the can," Yumiko supplied helpfully.

"… Oh. Well when she's finished send her to the landing bay. And let's hope she doesn't get killed along the way, since we stupidly only have one pilot."

"Dad, you jinxed it," Soushi sighed. "Why can't you just die right now?!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the little shuttle train… thing that takes people to the landing bay…

"Are you feeling nervous, dear?" asked a weirdly-standing woman.

Kuramae gave her a withering look. "Of course I'm feeling nervous, you stupid woman with your weird, small eyes! I'm about to go and fight freaking aliens!"

And then suddenly the train explodes and weird-standing woman is sucked into the big black Festum ball of death. Kuramae gawped like a fish, before she too got owned.

Oh well, can't be helped.

* * *

"Oh noes! Our pilot is dead! Now we're all screwed!" Yumiko screamed shrilly in horror.

"Yes! This means I can go and fight them; me, Soushi!" Soushi declared, leaping up from his seat. "I don't give a crap about Kuramae's death, even though she's supposed to be my adopted older sister… I GET TO PILOT A FAFNER!"

"Soushi, stop frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog and take a seat kid, take a god damned seat," his father ordered. "You can't pilot Fafner – you have something that only you can do. Do you remember what that is?"

"… Being a gay pretty boy?"

"No! – Well, yes, that too. No, no, you have a Siegfried System to pilot. And you get to look all pretty and pink while you're inside it."

"Oh yeah, good point. In that case who will pilot our magical robot? … As if we hadn't all figured it out by now; especially after that random scene of Kazuki battling a Festum at the beginning of the—"

"Soushi, shut up already and let us get on with the show!" he father snapped. "Now, Makabe, your son is the most suitable candidate – I'm going to use him."

Fumihiko snorted loudly. "Now who's hitting on whose son, eh?"

"… Even I'm starting to wish I was already dead. Soushi, go get our pilot!"

* * *

And thus Soushi ran off down to the shelter to find his favourite bishie pilot. He flung the door open enthusiastically, only to find Kazuki already standing there on the other side.

"Gah!" Soushi yelped, leaping back in surprise. "Holy crap, Kazuki! How come you're already there? That's freaking creepy… and yet oddly suggestive."

"Yes it is, isn't it? Now, where are we going, Soushi?"

"… To paradise."

"Cue the porno music!"

"Sakura! This moment is supposed to be dramatic!"

* * *

And the next thing we know, Kazuki and Soushi are walking up the bloody giant looking staircase and standing before a pretty blue robot.

"What? What is this?" Barry—er, Kazuki, asked.

"A dinning room—I mean, a Fafner," answered Soushi.

… I've got to lay off the Resident Evil references. But they're just so much damn fun!

"What's a Fafner?"

"It's something to do with Norse mythology – because the Japanese love using German words in their Animes," explained Soushi. "Honestly, they do; they've got the Digimon Kaizer in Digimon Adventure 02, the entire cast of Kyou Kara Maou have German names. Even Xebec is a German word—"

"Er, Soushi; fourth wall, rapidly disintegrating," Kazuki cut in.

"Oh, right. Anyway; Fafner is a magical robot we designed to battle the Festum with; it prevents their mind-reading ability… in a way that we don't bother explaining. I want you to protect the island with this."

"Gasp! There's no way I can do that!" gasped Kazuki in that typical Shounen Anime hero way.

"Oh, of course you can; you're the main character! You must know that your body is able to unite with Fafner!"

"… You want me to have sex with that robot? Wouldn't that be rather painful?"

Soushi ignored him, and decided to play the 'guilt-trip' card. "Well, I would pilot it myself… but a certain someone injured my eye."

"Oh, the guilt!" Kazuki exclaimed as he had more random line-art flashbacks about injured chibi-Soushi.

And then Soushi grabbed Kazuki by the shoulders and pulled him close, making the Yaoi fangirls squeal in delight.

"You really think I can do it?" Kazuki asked uncertainly.

"Of course. Trust me; I'm really good looking."

"… What's that got to do with it?"

"I dunno. I just felt like pointing it out," Soushi said with a shrug. "Now go and get changed into the flight-suit." Soushi rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I can't wait to see how hot Kazuki looks in his flight-suit!"

Er, Soushi; he doesn't wear the flight-suit until the end of the next episode.

"… shit."

* * *

Oh, look; another scene change.

And so Kazuki gets inside Fafner, and happily sticks his hands into the strange red, jelly-like substance … sadly, not in the flight-suit. But be patient, fellow fangirls (and Soushi); we get to see him naked in the next episode!

And thus Kazuki was hooked up to Fafner, screaming in pain all the while. Why didn't they just design it so that the pilot isn't in extreme agony when they get in a Fafner?

Soushi appeared on-screen, looking all determined. "And now I must say lots of complicated things about spinal models and synergetic codes just to make myself look cool," said Soushi, looking pretty and pink inside the Siegfried System. "The holographic form is red, damn it, not pink! Red!"

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Soushi…

* * *

Meanwhile back in CDC…

"What's wrong?" asked daddy Minashiro.

"The password to remove the weapons is locked," Mamoru's dad said to him over the monitor. "In other words; we're pretty much screwed unless you come down here and unlock it manually."

"Oh, how convenient," daddy Minashiro said, rolling his eyes.

"Actually it's pretty inconvenient, seeing as we're in the middle of a battle," Fumihiko pointed out.

"No, you stupid turnip; it's convenient in the way that it moves the plot along, and it lets me get put in danger – and killed – so that Soushi can probably have some angsty flashbacks about his dad dieing."

"Oh, I see," Fumihiko nodded. "But I don't think that Soushi-kun really cares about your death all that much."

"Then what's the point of me dieing?"

"How should I know, you foolhead? I'm not the writer. Now… get out of my chair!" Fumihiko snapped suddenly, shoving daddy Minashiro out of the way and settling back in the chair. "Ah, it's good to be the new commander." He glanced down at daddy Minashiro, who lay winded on the floor. "What are you still doing here? Go and get killed!"

* * *

Whoa! Fumihiko's gone nuts! He's been corrupted by the One Ring! Wait – wrong series. Er, back with Kazuki and Soushi… Kazuki apparently fainted.

"Kazuki, Kazuki… Wake up, little boy!"

"Gah!" Kazuki yelped, jolting awake. "Soushi, don't do that, it makes you sound like Freddy! Anyway… what's going on?"

"I crossed directly into the visual and auditory sensors of your brain."

"… Say what now?"

Soushi sighed. "I've linked our brains together using the Siegfried System, so that I can appear to you in this pretty, red holographic form, and tell you how to pilot the magic robot."

"It looks more like pink to me—"

"Never mind that!" Soushi growled. "The connection isn't perfect since you're not wearing your uber hot synergetic suit, but we can still go and kick some Festum arse without it."

"How comes my clothes are fixed again by the next episode when they just got torn when I got in Fafner?" Kazuki asked randomly.

"Plot hole. From now on your priority is to unite with Fafner," continued Soushi.

Why does it look like Soushi is sitting in Kazuki's lap during that line?

"Because Fafner is cool that way," answered Soushi.

Oh, OK!

"We're breaking so much fourth wall here, Soushi," Kazuki mumbled quietly.

Soushi ignored him. "First of all, open your eyes."

"Sweetie, my eyes are open. Is your blindness kicking in again?"

"Just open the damn robot's eyes!"

"Yes, dear!"

And thus Fafner took to the skies. Oh, the humanity!

"The humanity?" Soushi blinked in confusion. "Anyway, it's time for one of my weird, end of the episode speeches. Ahem; this was the beginning of our journey – hence the episode title. If we could survive… I might get to make hot yaoi love with Kazuki! Yay! Um, I mean, we wouldn't forget today's smile… who writes this stuff? I'm so glad I randomly stop these little monologues around episode 12."

Join us in the next exciting episode of Fafner – we get to see Kazuki naked!

"Hurrah!"

Be quiet, Soushi!

* * *

Until next time, bye! Hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

INSANITY IN THE AZURE

EPISODE TWO: LIFE – CONFESSION

Welcome back to Fafner in the Azure. Last time lots of boring stuff happened that nobody really cared about. This time… it'll probably be more of the same.

Oh, look; pretty opening theme! I love Shangri-La.

Now it's time to watch these pretty boys fight in their awesome robots.

Kazuki looked around in confusion. "Where am I? What's going on? I've already forgotten what happened in the last episode."

"You're on Keiju Island, where we store all our Fafner related stuff, and you're going to fight an alien," Soushi informed him over the radio.

"Oh, yeah." Kazuki looked up and saw the Festum hovering over him… how did he not notice that until Soushi mentioned it? "Oooh, pretty alien."

"Anata wa soko ni imasu ka?"

"ZOMG! It can speak!"

"Don't answer it, you fool!" snapped pretty pink, er, I mean, red, Soushi. "It can erode your thought."

"… How?"

"Never mind that - just kill it!"

But he doesn't have any weapons yet, you stupid twit! Oh, snap! Tentacles!

"Help, I'm under attack!" Kazuki yelped as the Festum pulled his Fafner into the air, just like in the last episode. Oh, wait; this is the same scene as the last episode…

"Kazuki, feel Fafner itself! Unite with him!"

Yeah, that still sounds really gay and kinky, Soushi. Not that I'm complaining. … Why did he call that Fafner a 'him'? Is there something Soushi's not telling us?

Kazuki death-glared at the Festum and lunged forward, with his fist clenched, and… misses. Idiot.

"Gasp! It must have read my mind," Kazuki thought, still glaring. "Is it reading my mind right now, too? Does it know that I'm thinking of Soushi lying naked in my bed, covered in chocolate sauce? Hmm… chocolate coated Soushi…"

Well, it seems he's become a little distracted. No wonder the Festum is owning him so easily.

* * *

Meanwhile with daddy Minashiro…

"I think my death scene is approaching rapidly," daddy Minashiro announced as he unlocked the weapons. "Soon I won't be able to stop that pedo Kariya from hitting on my son and his friends anymore."

"Oh well, can't be helped," said some guy… it might be Mamoru's dad. "Anyway, the only weapon we can currently use is the rail gun."

"Why is that?"

"…"

"Hey, I asked you a question!"

"I'm not answering! You're dead to me now!" said daddy Mamoru.

* * *

Right… Back with the gays, er, I mean, Kazuki and Soushi.

"Where's the Festum?" asked Kazuki.

"It's behind you," answered Soushi.

It's behind you? What is this, a freaking pantomime? Hey, wait – it's in front of the Fafner, not behind it. I guess Soushi's bad eye is kicking in again.

Kazuki reaches out to shove the nasty Festum off of him, and his Fafner's hand gets blown off. That's gotta hurt.

"Oww! This really hurts!" screamed Kazuki.

I just said that! Anyway, Soushi uses Fafner's pain block system, and Kazuki manages to calm down… for about two second – but then the Festum starts trying to assimilate him! Gasp!

"Oh noes! It's stabbing me with its green crystal things! And I can't stop glaring!" Kazuki said in a panic. "Soushi, save me!"

Sadly Soushi doesn't know what to do, and just yells at Kazuki to eject. And Kazuki gives the Festum one hell of a death glare. Jeez, is that all he does in this scene?

… Daddy Minashiro to the rescue!

"Kazuki, use the force! I mean, use the rail gun," he shouted to the glaring bishie over the radio.

Hang on; I've got a bone to pick here. In episode 16 Michio is complaining that he can't talk to the Neo UN pilots inside the Fafner, because the Fafner don't even have radios – so how are Soushi and his dad talking to Kazuki? I mean, Soushi could be talking to him through the Siegfried System, but his dad…

"Oh, just blame a plot hole," suggested Soushi. "I want to hurry up and get this scene over with so we can get to the naked Kazuki!"

Oh, right; good idea.

"Fafner can't supply its own electricity right now; in fact it's pretty sucky right now. So please catch the rail gun on the first attempt," daddy Minashiro said.

"Dad?!" Soushi gasped. "Are you going to die now? Do I finally get to be the Alvis commander?"

"Er, well… You see, the thing about that is—"

Daddy Minashiro go boom now! And thus the place that he's in is engulfed in the big black ball of Festum death.

Soushi looks annoyed for a few seconds, and then starts shouting at Kazuki again.

"Kazuki, kill the Festum! Kill it! Kill it! I can angst over my father later on! Just kill it!"

Wow, Soushi sounds more excited about killing the Festum than Kazuki does. And Kazuki's the one who, in the novel, seems to get physically aroused by fighting the Festum… amongst others things.

For example:

_It was me! It was me! It was me! It was me! I fucked up Soushi's eye! I fucked up Soushi's eye! I did it! Just like this! Like this! Like this! And I'll do the same to you! I'll do it to you! You! It feels good! It feels good! Ah! It's so good!_

_The enemy's core. He was so eager to see the bright red kernel of life that he paid no mind to the enemy's frantically lashing tentacles as he tore it out. It was exposed. If he damaged it, the enemy would never recover, and the pleasurable sensation of holding such a thing in the palm of his hand shot up his back to the very tip of his head. _

_Ah! Ah! Ah! This feels good! His emotions turned grim as he crushed it in his hands. The bright red jewel burst, spraying countless flecks of glitter dust. As he gazed at it, he was struck with such an incredible ecstasy that Kazuki's body deep within the cockpit block began spasming. _

… The Fafner novel is fun!

"Well, that was freaking weird. Now I'm kind of turned on…" Soushi trailed off, eyeing Kazuki. "Er, anyway; hurry up and shoot that Festum with your big, long, hard gun."

"… Is that some kind of euphemism for my penis?" Kazuki asked.

"No – I meant your real gun!"

"Aw, damn it."

And thus Kazuki shoved the big, phallic-shaped gun into the orifice that had magically opened up in the Festum, and released its glowing white energy attack. … Are you SURE this isn't a sexual euphemism?

"Just get on with it!"

Sorry, Soushi. The Festum then exploded, engulfing Kazuki's Fafner in the black ball of death. But luckily Kazuki had ejected in the, snigger… cockpit, and so he came to no harm. Bravo!

* * *

Scene change! Soushi is snoozing away in the staff lounge when suddenly in comes that pedo Kariya, and offers him a cup of coffee. Watch out, Soushi – it's probably drugged!

"Shut up, you smelly penguin! I wouldn't do that…" Kariya snapped, glancing around nervously. "Really, I don't drug my victims- er, I mean my love interests."

"I don't care – I'm already high," Soushi sighed in boredom, accepting the drink.

"I heard your father died in battle," said Kariya.

"Yeah, yeah; angst, angst…"

"Right… What did you think of the tactics of acting commander Makabe?"

"I'm pissed – he stole my job! Now I've got even more things to angst over! And I've got no family to support me. I might have to become a prostitute to make ends meet."

"Well, that would explain your gay bondage outfit from episode nine," said Kariya. "Oh well, I'm going to run away now. Toodle-pip, old scout!" And with that she evacuated the room.

… See, this is what happens when I watch 'Jeeves & Wooster' I go into full British mode. Which I suppose I should, seeing as I'm English…

"What's going on?" asked a confused Soushi. He suddenly yelped and dropped his coffee. "OW! My hand hurts! Behold the foreshowing."

What a complaining little baby! He needs to be smacked thoroughly… with a whip… while tied to Kazuki's bed… naked, apart from that collar of his… with maybe a little chocolate sauce…

… Oh, sorry about that. Where was I? … Oh, right, that's it; I think it's about time for what we've all been secretly longing and foaming at the mouth for:

* * *

… NAKED KAZUKI! YAY! YAY!

"Yay!" Soushi screamed in delight off-screen.

Yay! He looks hot! And yummy… and he's still glaring! What the fricks wrong with this boy? Get that towel out of the way, too; it's blocking the view!

Chizuru and Yumiko were spying on him from behind some glass.

"How is his condition?" Yumiko asked her mother. The reply she received was nothing more than stony silence. "All right then, ignore me you bad tempered old cow."

… That's a line from an "Are you being served" episode. See, that British-ness of mine is seeping through again.

A moment later Kazuki was dressed (boo!) in the Alvis uniform – minus the scarf for some reason. At least it gives us a chance to ogle his collarbone.

"What's wrong?" Chizuru asked, noticing that he was on the verge of going into emo mode.

"What do you mean 'what's wrong'?! I've just found out that our peaceful little island is actually a secret military base, that the earth is being invaded by aliens, and that I have to fight them in a giant robot. And I keep having old woman leering at me. And you're seriously asking me what's wrong?!"

"… Shut up. Now go home and bitch at your father instead."

* * *

Meanwhile over at Shouko's house…

"ZOMG! Hazama, are you alright?" Kouyou shrieked, running over to the girl; in question as she and Maya struggled towards the house.

"I'm OK. What about Kazuki-kun?" Shouko asked.

"Makabe? I think he's alright.

A brilliant smile blossomed over Shouko's face. "I'm so glad!"

"… Well, shit," sighed Kouyou, seeing as it was fairly obvious who Shouko was interested in.

Heh, Kouyou got owned. Then again, Shouko's clearly barking up the wrong tree with Kazuki, so Kouyou may still have a chance.

"I may? Yay!" cheered Kouyou. "I'm gonna become a KazuSou fanboy and try to pair them up. Well, I'm off home now to wallow in angst over my crappy love life and evil parents. Bye!"

Speaking of his evil parents; they're back at the Rakuen café (oh, the irony) getting drunk and laughing at Kouyou behind his back. Ain't that nice?

And so Kouyou creeps around the back of the house to play with his dog in private. That wasn't a euphemism for anything either.

* * *

Back at Sakura's house…

"I'm home!" Sakura announced.

"Your dad was murdered by aliens today," her mother greeted her.

"Aw, bugger."

* * *

Back with Kazuki; he's climbing another long flight of stairs up to his house. There seems to be a lot of them in this show. Long flights of stairs that is, not houses. Though there are lots of houses too… I'll stop talking about this now.

You know, this scene sounds kind of dirty if you close your eyes and listen. Seeing as it mostly just consists of Kazuki panting, and then saying Soushi's name. It sounds a bit like he's masturbating. I just felt like pointing that out.

Kazuki also looks hot when he's all tired and sweaty. And he's still glaring…

Advert break! Kazuki and Soushi are now down at the docks. Hmm, that sounds about right…

"How do you feel after piloting that?" Soushi asked.

"Nothing much."

"You must have been surprised by all the crazy crap that's been happening today," Soushi continued.

"Not really…"

"Well, screw you! Japan is gone!"

"Say what?" Kazuki yelped.

"At last I got a reaction from you. Yeah, it got destroyed by Festum twenty nine years ago," said Soushi. "And our island disappeared from the map. Until yesterday, this island was the only paradise left."

It sounds gay whenever you start talking about paradise, Soushi.

"I can't help that!"

I wasn't complaining, dear.

Suddenly the siren goes off and all the defence systems disappear back into the ground, while Kazuki gawps at them like an idiot. And you may note that as Kazuki gawps, Soushi is blatantly staring at him the whole time – he needs to learn the art of subtlety.

"The Festum will be back, you know. If they didn't come back, it'd be a pretty boring show." Soushi glanced at Kazuki hopefully. "With me… you will fight, won't you?"

"… in chocolate sauce?"

"No! Against the Festum!"

"Oh, well sure I will. Um, can we fight in chocolate later on though?"

"… maybe."

I really, really want to see that.

* * *

"Dad, I'm gay. I mean, I'm home," Kazuki said upon returning to his house.

Fumihiko blinked up at him slowly. "Right… I thought you weren't coming home anymore."

"What are you implying; that you thought I'd die today or that I'd randomly abandon you and elope with Soushi?"

"I'm not really sure – I think the subtitles must be messed up. To me it sounded more like I said 'I thought you weren't coming home today' that would make a hell of a lot more sense."

Anyway, moving on…

"Of course I came back. You can't even cook rice without me," Kazuki said, heading towards the kitchen.

An offended Fumihiko leapt to his feet. "How dare you! Thems' fightin words! Move aside, boy. I'm going to cook tonight!"

With that he shoved Kazuki out the way and looked around the kitchen in utter bewilderment.

Kazuki just watched him with an 'oh, shit' expression on his face.

I'm surprised they didn't end up with food poisoning.

* * *

Soushi, meanwhile, is still sleeping in the staff lounge. Doesn't he have a home to go to?

"Aren't you going home?"

See, even the evil pedo lady is wondering about that.

"I lost that stuff today," Soushi replied softly.

"Oh, did it get blown up by the Festum?" Kariya asked.

"No."

"Then what the hell are you gibbering on about?"

"I dunno. Besides which, I'm more at home here. Now be off with you, vile female!"

… Soushi needs to lay off the pills. Right, before we change scenes, let's have an extreme close-up on Soushi's scar, just for the fun of it.

* * *

Back at camp Makabe… Kazuki is eyeing the food apprehensively. Shoving the rice into his mouth, he did a double-take.

"So, does it taste good?" Fumihiko asked eagerly. "Is it as yummy as a bag full of skittles?"

"… it tastes like crap."

"… Oh. I'm sad now."

And thus ends the meal.

Fumihiko goes off to heal his bruised pride by smoking, I mean, making some pots.

"I'm going to bed now," Kazuki announced. "Oh, and by the way; I've also decided to fight with Soushi."

"And by 'fight' you mean…?"

"Fight, as in fight the Festum. That wasn't a euphemism!"

"Oh, I see. Good night… if you can." Fumihiko turned back to his pots. "I'll be going to bed too, after I've finished angsting over your baby pictures."

* * *

The next day, everyone has gone to a funeral. Oh, the excitement.

"I wonder if I can get in that robot, too," Sakura wondered, looking as flat-chested as me in that suit of hers.

"Are you serious? You could die," said Mamoru. That's kind of ironic, seeing as he's practically peeing himself in delight in the next episode when he finds out that he's going to be a Fafner pilot.

"But Kazuki piloted it; that means I can too!" Sakura argued.

Sakura does seem to have a weird 'anything he can do, I can do better' kind of situation going on with Kazuki; what's that all about? Perhaps it's just her subtle way of suggesting that she (like everyone else in this show…) is in love with him?

"It better damn well not be!" Soushi growled as he strolled past. "I don't need another freaking love rival!"

Shut up, Soushi! You're supposed to be in mourning for your dad.

Soushi cocked his head. "Who?"

… Er, moving on.

* * *

Maya leapt into Shouko's bedroom again.

"Minashiro-kun and Kazuki-kun go to the basement a lot recently," Maya said.

… basement? What basement? How can an island have a basement? Stupid woman.

"I want to go with him," Shouko sighed wistfully.

"Which one?" Maya teased.

Shouko rolled her eyes. "Well, which one do you think, you moronhead?"

* * *

Meanwhile at the Fafner training island… place, Kazuki steps into the scene, giving us a great view of his crotch area while he's at it.

Mummy Hazama leered at him over the monitor. "Take off all your clothes and come here," she said, wiping the drool off her chin.

Kazuki blinked in surprise. "All of them? Geez, is every woman in this show a pedo?"

"Yes – now strip for me, boy!"

Yeah, Kazuki – strip!

Kazuki proceeds to strip. Yay! He then steps onto this weird platform and is half-blinded by a bright light.

"That's sterilising light," mummy Hazama chipped in helpfully.

Gasp! They're trying to neuter him? Get the hell out of there, boy!

"Look forward as you are and come here." Kazuki squirmed in embarrassment. "Seeing you squirm is so delicious!"

… Digimon Kazier?!

"It's alright; I can't see you from here."

Which is clearly a blatant lie as it switches to a scene of mummy Hazama watching naked!Kazuki on the monitor with an adoring look on her face. I bet she's filming this for Shouko, too!

As naked!Kazuki puts of his flight-suit he makes a comment about cosplaying, thus earning his place in the fangirls hearts.

Naked!Kazuki is concerned that it'll hurt again when he gets inside Fafner; but mummy Hazama assures him that he'll be fine as long as he's wearing his super hot flight-suit.

This turns out to be another blatant lie on mummy Hazama's part as Kazuki is still in agony when he's hooked up to Fafner… ZOMG! Kazuki crotch shot!

Er, and now it's time for another of Soushi's weird-arse, supposedly inspirational, motivating end of the episode speeches.

Soushi sat in the Siegfried System, staring blankly into space.

… Soushi, what's wrong? Are you high? Do you need me to go and buy you some opal fruits?

Soushi jumped in his seat. "Oh, sorry. I was just a bit distracted by the Kazuki crotch shot."

That's understandable. Just get on with your stupid speech.

"My speeches are not--"

Soushi!

"Sorry. Ah-hem; when people become wise, they realise the world has limits. That their powers are limited. That their dreams will end someday."

… That is such an emo-sounding speech, Soushi. How is that meant to motivate people?

"… Moving on; but we believed we could overcome such things. We believed…"

We believed we could fly. We believed we could touch the sky!

"… Shut up."

That seems like a good place to end the chapter, seeing as, you know, it's the end of the episode and all.

* * *

Until next time, bye!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Fafner? I'm amazed... anyway, Xebec are the ones who do own it.

Author's note: Look; I made another part. Aren't you all thrilled? I found this episode really boring, so I tried my best to make it funny. I hope you enjoy it. Incidentally, you'll be pleased to know that I'm currently writing the next chapter of Days of Blue (and I have other story ideas in my head, too. Not sure when/if they'll get written...)

Thanks for reading.

* * *

INSANITY IN THE AZURE

EPISODE THREE: TRUTH – LABYRINTH

It's time for another exciting, angst-filled episode of Fafner! And today we start off with the Neo UN, who are flying around in a plane over the ocean in a fruitless search for Tatsumiya Island (they can't find a fruit in Fafner? How ironic.)

"There's no visible object in the water," said the random UN pilot. "… Oh well, this was a boring scene. I'm gonna go get drunk."

Back in Alvis, Fumihiko and the gang are spying on that Neo UN plane; spying on them like… spies. How very naughty.

"As always, I'm on pins and needles, for fear they might find us," Yumiko said. "Incidentally: how come there's only the two of us in this massive control room? Are the others all on their tea break? I want some tea, too!"

Fumihiko sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile over at the school…

Kenji threw an arm around Mamoru's neck and leered at him suggestively. "Mamoru, come with me!"

"ZOMG! Are you hitting on me?! I thought we were meant to be the straight ones?"

"Come and hit on some girls with me."

"Oh, alright; that'll make us look straight again," agreed Mamoru.

Sakura suddenly crept up on the pair of them. "You two… you know what we're doing after school, right?"

Kenji and Mamoru's eyes lit up. "Threesome?" they inquired eagerly.

Because honestly; who hasn't thought about that idea with these three? They just scream 'threesome' material.

* * *

But now it's time for a staff meeting.

"I apologise for asking to gather so suddenly." Fumihiko paused. "… I worded that sentence oddly. Anyway; I'm sure you've all heard about the Neo UN search planes often flying over the island. I'm thinking of temporarily moving the island."

"Why do we need to bother doing that if our mirror camouflage shield, er, thing, makes the island invisible?" asked mummy Hazama.

"Be quiet!" snapped Fumihiko. "And do what I say, fools!"

… Fumihiko is acting odd again today.

And now it's time to end this scene with a shot of that evil pedo lady looking evil. Look how evil she looks!

* * *

"Man, this episode is so boring," Fumihiko complained as he and Chizuru got in the lift.

… Love in an elevator! Living it up while you're going down!

That was a brief look into Chizuru's mind during this scene.

"… I'm scared now," Fumihiko whimpered. "Just find me some more pilots."

"But what about the song? The song!" demanded Chizuru.

"…"

"Oh, alright, I will. But first let's have a scene showing all the children enjoying themselves, while we go into emo mode as we contemplate the fact that most of them are probably going to be killed by aliens."

Yes, let's!

Kouyou is sitting on the peer, doing a spot of fishing, while his dog, Chocolate barks in an oddly human way. Sakura, Mamoru and Kenji are having a threesome – or at least, a fight. And Maya is showing Shouko more school pictures, thus making her feel even more depressed about the fact that she's practically bed-ridden. Good going, Maya…

Notice that Kazuki and Soushi aren't in that scene. Where are they? I bet their off doing naughty things to each other with chocolate sauce… well, they are in my mind, at least.

"Right, that's enough of that," Chizuru interrupted. "I've made a list of the new pilots; let's go and tell their parents."

* * *

Mummy Kaname gasped in horror when she found out that Sakura was to be a pilot. "Gasp! I'm so shocked! Despite the fact that I knew these kids had been bred to become pilots, I'm still surprised when my kid is chosen to be a pilot."

… That makes no sense. And where are Kazuki and Soushi? Come on, let's liven this episode up a bit!

"Shut up and let us get on with the angst, fool!" snarled Chizuru.

Yikes! Ok, er, on to the next family…

"Why? Why my Kenji? I mean… he's so stupid," said mummy Kondo.

Fumihiko shrugged. "Yeah, well… canon fodder?"

Off to mummy Hazama…

"Hi! We're going to make your daughter a pilot, despite being a cripple. And she's going to get killed in three episodes time. Bye!" Chizuru announced, before running off back down the garden path.

Well… that was odd. Meanwhile at Kouyou's house, his parents have to restrain themselves from jumping up and down in delight when they find out their son is going to pilot a Fafner.

"Wow, what a pair of arseheads," Fumihiko commented.

And then Mamoru's dad doesn't even bother telling him that he's going to be a pilot – they just talk about manga instead. … Hey, there was a picture of Angela on the back of that manga. Lol, subliminal advertising.

* * *

Scene change! Gasp, is that Soushi getting drunk?! Oh no, wait, that's just Chizuru. You have to admit, she does look kind of Soushi-ish from that zoomed in side view. I bet Soushi's mummy looked a bit like her… except prettier.

"I didn't know Maya had a physical handicap," said drunken Chizuru.

"She doesn't – I just altered her records," said Yumiko.

"… Huh?"

"Er, whoops. Just ignore that, OK?"

* * *

Meanwhile Maya is climbing into the closet. Must resist making gay joke…

"What the frick are you doing in that closet?" asked Yumiko. "I thought that was Kazuki and Soushi's job?"

Oh look; she made the joke for me.

"I'm looking for dad's camera," Maya explained. "Mine has run out of film, and I need to take more hot naked pictures of Kazuki-kun!"

I like the way her mind works!

* * *

The next day at Alvis…

"I can't believe this episode is almost at the half-way point, and we haven't even seen Kazuki and Soushi yet. Honestly, they must have been at it for so long now that poor Soushi won't be able to sit down properly for weeks," commented Mamoru.

Hmm… yaoi butt-sex… Plus I like the fact that if I close my eyes and just listen to Mamoru's voice, I can pretend that I'm watching Kyou Kara Maou – which is far more interesting than this boring episode.

"Hey, stop pretending I'm someone else, you wimp!"

Oh, shut up Wolfram—er, Mamoru, and just go into fanboy mode at the thought of piloting a mecha.

"OK… ZOMG! ROBOTS! ZOMG! A SECRET MILITARY BASE!"

Right. And then everybody goes into the elevator. … Love in an elevator! Living it up while--- OK, I'll stop that now.

"Why did they hide something so awesome from us?" asked Shouko.

"Because you can't handle the truth, that's why!" answered evil teacher lady Kariya.

"She seems different to usual, doesn't she?" Kenji whispered to Mamoru. "I mean, she hasn't asked us to strip off yet or anything."

He's probably disappointed about that…

"Oh well, I'd better feel up the wall now," announced Sakura, running her fingers along the cool metal surface. "Oooh, I love walls. I want to lick them…"

Right… moving along. On the moving stairs the group notices Kenji's mother going past them.

"Mother!" Kenji called out in greeting.

Mummy Kondo ignored him.

"ZOMG! She ignored me! I feel sad now…"

And then they arrived in CDC… ZOMG! Kazuki and Soushi, at last!

"Kazuki-kun!" Shouko squealed, instantly going into fangirl mode; much to Kouyou's obvious disappointment.

"Soushi's here, too," Kouyou pointed out for no reason. "You know, he's here, with Kazuki, gaying up the joint… am I still being too subtle for you, Shouko?"

"Duh… Kazuki-kun," Shouko drooled. "I wanna ride his Fafner."

"Hey, everybody, it's picture time!" Maya shouted suddenly.

And so everyone gathered around for the group photo that's going to reappear again and again. This scene reminds of when Miaka took a group photo in Fushigi Yuugi.

* * *

Advert break! The new pilots are getting ready to do some Fafner training in their kinky flight-suits.

"Hey, how come I'm the only one of us in a pink flight-suit?!" Sakura demanded. "Just because I'm a girl, I have to wear a crappy pink one? Roar of anger!"

Oooh, pretty boys in flight-suits. Well, one pretty boy at least.

"Hey!" Mamoru and Kenji snapped angrily while Kouyou smirked triumphantly.

Meanwhile in CDC…

"Look over this battle monitor and give instructions to each section," Yumiko was saying to Shouko. "Understand?"

"… No."

Oh, well, can't be helped. Back with Chizuru and Kariya…

"How are the pilots doing?" Kariya asked evilly.

"Pretty well for first-timers."

Cue a scene of the four of them screaming like idiots as they endure the simulation. Yeah, they're doing really well…

"The new pilots are bloody useless," said Kariya.

"It is unreasonable to ask them to be like Kazuki," Soushi said.

"Why?"

"… Um, because he's much better looking."

Good answer, Soushi.

* * *

Speaking of Kazuki, he's over with mummy Hazama, helping her do some repair work on his Fafner. Because, as we all know, Kazuki is a mechanical genius, and knows exactly how these robots work, and how to fix them…

… wait. What?

And then Kazuki looks up and sees a naked, glowing red person hovering above him.

Kazuki gawped in shock. "Wha?! Wait… long hair, glowing pink, er, red, like the Siegfried system… is that naked Soushi?! That's hot!"

I can't help but wonder if he thought that for just a second; especially since you can't tell instantly if the glowing person is male or female.

"What's wrong?" mummy Hazama asked, not bothering to look up.

"I thought I saw a naked Siegfried system Soushi floating above me."

"… Look, can we leave the weird yaoi fantasies till you're alone in your bedroom at night?"

No, you old fool! I want to hear about his yaoi fantasies, too!

* * *

Meanwhile with daddy Mamoru and his mechanic friends…

"Our freaking plane won't work," daddy Mamoru announced. "This makes daddy Mamoru angry. And when daddy Mamoru gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset…"

Er…

"—And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset… people die!"

Right… just hurry up and fix the damn plane. We need it to be ready in time for the yaoi-est moment of the episode.

* * *

Back with mummy Hazama and Kazuki…

Mummy Hazama looked around in confusion. "Oh great, Kazuki-kun's buggered off somewhere. Maybe he's gone to take care of his 'problem' … I wanted to watch!"

Actually it turns out that Kazuki is chasing the naked red glowing person down the hallway – he's desperate for that naked Soushi, isn't he?

"Come back, you tease!" Kazuki yelled after the glowing person. "I'm going to give you a damn good whipping for this, Soushi!"

Ooh, kinky.

The glowing person eventually led Kazuki to yet another giant flight of stairs (the giant flight of stairs total is now at three…), and to an equally giant looking door; which opened to reveal a giant looking room with a giant looking walkway, leading to a giant—er, am I the only one sensing a theme here?

At long last Kazuki reached the (giant) core tube. "Naked glowing Soushi, here I co—hey, wait; that isn't Soushi after all! It's just some naked girl with no breasts that looks a bit like Soushi."

The girl, aka Tsubaki Minashiro, opened her eyes and peered down at Kazuki. 'Oh, this must be the guy my brother is always talking about. He's cute – my brother has great taste.'

And thus Tsubaki became a Kazusou fangirl, too.

'I'm so impressed by Soushi's love interest that I'm going to power up the island!'

With that the island's reactor was powered up (by the power of Yaoi!), so they could move the island. Hurrah!

* * *

At the Rakuen café… The TV suddenly came on by itself. "Attention Tatsumiya citizens; as of 10am tomorrow, the island will start moving."

Daddy and mummy Kouyou growled in anger. "They're moving the island? N-one told us!"

"… we just did tell you, you freaking evil idiots!"

Daddy Kouyou blinked. "How did that TV hear what we were saying?"

* * *

Off we go to CDC again…

"… WARNING! WARNING! Festum approaching!" warned the early-warning system.

"Oh, crap!" Yumiko groaned. "That's just what we need."

"… WARNING! WARNING! Neo UN plane approaching, too!"

"Oh, crap!" Yumiko groaned again.

"… WARNING! WARNING! Kazuki is also missing!"

"Oh, freaking crap! This just isn't our day!"

"… WARNING! WARNING! … You're ugly!"

"…"

And thus Yumiko gave the early-warning system a damn good thrashing.

* * *

Down in the depths of hell—er, I mean in the core room….

"What am I doing in here again?" asked Kazuki.

You thought naked Soushi was here.

"Oh, right. Hey, wait a minute—my Festum-sense is tingling! And my Yaoi-sense… and my Soushi-sense!"

Jeez, you're nothing but senses…

* * *

In CDC, Fumihiko is having a nervous breakdown – but he's hiding it really carefully.

"Gah! Festum to the left of me, Neo UN planes to the right! I don't know what to do," Fumihiko moaned. "Maybe if I just glare at them hard enough they'll all get scared and run away?"

"Commander, I don't think that'll work," said Soushi. "But don't worry; I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!"

"Alright, I think your plan might work, Soushi-kun," Fumihiko said. "Prepare Mark Elf for takeoff."

Huh? Did I miss something? They didn't tell us what Soushi's plan is…

"Where in the world is Kazuki Makabe?" asked Fumihiko.

They're ignoring me!

"He's coming up in the lift from the super secret core room," answered mummy Sakura.

* * *

In the lift with Kazuki… love in an elevator! Living it up while—

"Shut up!" Kazuki snarled.

"Kazuki!"

"Wha! It's the disembodied voice of Soushi!"

"No, Kazuki, I'm just talking to you over the monitor."

Kazuki glanced up at the monitor that I don' recall seeing the last time they were in the lift… "You're looking very pretty today, dear."

"Thank you. Where were you just now?"

"Well, I thought I saw your naked red, holographic Siegfried system form beckoning me, so I chased it around for a bit – but the it turned out to just be some weird little girl in a giant red tube that's hidden in a secret underground room."

"… Kazuki have you been taking my pills?"

"… pills?"

"Oh, er, never mind! Just hurry up and get to the docking bay."

"This makes me glare for no reason," glared Kazuki.

* * *

"Yumiko, send that Neo UN plane a message saying Tatsumiya's location is at point N-O-2," said Fumihiko.

"But that means it'll come into contact with that Festum… gasp! Soushi's plan involves murder? How naughty of him."

"That's right – the Neo UN plane is going to be a decoy for us. Tee-hee!" Fumhiko said, giggling girlishly into his hands.

… I think he's the one that's been snacking on Soushi's pills.

* * *

And now, what we've all been waiting for throughout this whole bore-fest of an episode… the homoerotic moment.

"I'm telling you first, I've never flown before," Kazuki said, looking ahead determinedly.

Soushi's pretty red hologram appeared alongside him. "Don't worry… the two of us together can fly. Don't you agree?"

Oooh, yeah. It was worth the wait. I love that moment.

The end—

"Hey, I haven't done my end of the episode speech yet," Soushi interrupted.

Sigh. Alright, get on with it, dear.

"Right. Ah-hem… I wonder when people forgot how to fly the sky."

No, no, Soushi-cutie, people can't fly. You're thinking of birds.

"… No. We didn't forget. We became scared. Because the sky of this planet doesn't belong to people anymore."

It never did! I told you just now; you're thinking of birds.

"We spread our wings in such sky."

… Are you done? Geez, Soushi's speeches are getting stupider by the episode. No wonder they stopped them. Until next time, on the next exciting episode of Fafner.

Bye!


End file.
